summer 2024.

links to note collections are reverse chronological, notes themselves are chronological.




I don’t wanna be there, I just wanna be the music they’re playing

straight technology

”feel it motherfuckers”

it helps with the lights out
her rapid glow is like braille to the night

a soft, unrepeatable song that never stops

on the eve of a black night, think in pictures

I didn’t know much about new york other than vague geography, and everything seemed to arise unexpectedly out of a primordial chaos. I can’t rediscover something undiscovered.

she was looking at me like I was her violin

that conjures and constitutes you

like how a dark ink holds words yet unformed. so, am I gonna cut myself on you?

- I can imagine anything - I invented something commonly referred to as aggravated assault -This is a space base

what im saying is, its going to be a scene

Fulton’s steamboat anticipated the mini-skirt // we don’t have to wait for the wind anymore.

ménage a garage

how are you gonna farm without low frequency grooves

vassal of the sun

The column appeared without fuss or fanfare. This was Cecil’s preference. He wanted to start off small and then expand. Just like the universe.

Somewhere between 15 minutes and never

Let us go then, you and I
And try to unlearn, says Elliot
He seeks for return and burns ancient love letters

Say goodnight, mean goodbye

Her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she thinks ”Spa-Ha” is a thing

I kissed you goodbye on the n109

The ruse is up, but I’m not sure which one

In my old room with the window open but the curtains closed at 2:44 pm. I slept for an hour last night and took the 6 am train in from nyc. I’m just lying in bed. this helps, I guess. the comforter is soft and light green and clean. I know no one can make their way to my seclusion. I’ve been listening to this nicole dollanganger for the first time. I think I have been in a state of retreat. My interior world was under siege for half of this. I’m kind of surprised to find I exist. You dumb kid. Bruises on my legs like the mild greenish wet spots left by leaves on the deck. Stepping outside is like stepping into a bath someone ran half an hour ago. the air is thick and everything smells like green, darkening with drama where the woods steep like tea. When I was little and my dad put up the sun shade it and it looked like a massive sail I would pretend the house was a ship. Now I sit at the bow and look out over the valley.

an impeccably nerdy 18-year-old musician with a gap-toothed smile and uncombed hair...”I'd absolutely kill anyone who tried to change Julian Koster,”

To add insult to injury, one of his love interests is pulling a no-show tonight.

I think it means don’t leave me here alone

Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.

shisha, which can mean ”messenger” (使者) or ”dead” (死者)

How I learned to stop worrying and love the fare evasion

What’s she like? Attractive, I assume?
Hell. In high heels.

i will always see the vision

there is a boy and he never goes out

404s instead of 808s

IF YOU AINT 21 YOU CAN HANG IN THE ALLEY
IF YOU ARE COME DANCE

well i was shocked to see that cd you left in your bedroom...

not as a public rite but as an underground ceremony.

sitting at the tompkins skatepark at night when we were supposed to be getting mixer, lowtop converse kicked up under my skirt, arms crossed over their shirt, talking in the dark about tough love and labyrinth routes
reading w michael at black cat with almost no one there and socks on the couch
wild-eyed dream about alexei, sleeping on the floor in queens
narrowing laughing dodging red spark fireworks aimed too low to the ground, the lost best photograph ever

nice job getting the stars in the right places

I just get mine quietly

i cant do what i do if you guys stopped doing what you do

get your infatuation under lockdown

you and your friends are dressed to kill
me and my friends we just kill

I know your cool is chemical

The details of this story are infinite

What do you want to die doing? Because rest assured, you will.

With my grin spread, and my arms out, in my bloodstained Sunday’s best

I love you a great deal, and as a lover you’re not so bad. I have one criticism, but it’s a big one- you’ll never be a boxer.

Weekends I do hate crimes.
What type?
Oh, just depends on who’s around.

just as much fear as fire

Go ahead and say what shuts doors. The truth.

All aches beg for release in one direction

I feel like history, and I’m scared

a ”genius who also happened to be a pornographer”.

I will dream. I will be navy blue, fading black.

So we both taste like chemicals.

America is never going to be what for so long we have hoped so badly. Half of my country is makebelieve and visions. The beauty cannot difuse the terror.

cat named boyfriend

blue screens of death and the key ring of a time traveler

You and me and five bucks.

He’s weird, he’s strange, he’s a total nightmare for women...I can’t believe I haven’t slept with him yet.

oldschoolcool

country music, 6 pm on a tuesday at slave to the grind, when the golden mid-overheads become noticeable

During the early period of Smalls, there was no liquor license and the club operated 24/7. Some musicians lived in the club full time.

Georges Belmont: You mean that you can have a Tibet within?
Henry Miller: Yes, that’s it.

- still in love with me but otherwise is doing good and driving the van to pittsburgh for Disaffect
pick up bike from reach (also get bike lock)
aaron dropping off sculptures at studio
email Joel about letter of recommendation
email Ellie about reference research grants

to the tune of the national anthem
Of a country that didn’t survive
in a language I’ve learned and forgotten
I’ll stay home, keep the garden alive

Even here in this fathomless darkness I am
not bored, for I am never alone. I collect echoes
of unspoken thoughts
...
and assemble my
worlds as if awake.

I’ll come back to baltimore, just give me a date

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

The screen door slams, Mary’s dress sways
Like a vision, she dances across the porch as the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey, that’s me, and I want you only

the city of brotherly fuck off

”They’re not fucking ashamed of who they are any more because this cool band came out that is fucking retarded and ashamed and awkward like me, so maybe being retarded and ashamed and awkward is not a bad thing.”

viv and let viv!

a form of travel equal parts illegal and romantic

Of course, there isn’t one Heaven. Each soul generates its own Paradise. I favor the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who died in a bathtub in 1953.

oft-slain sacrificial game-spawn

The only similarity between Foxboro Hot Tubs and Green Day is that we are the same band

smooth talking leet speaking douche

If, by some miracle, your don’t get your heart and/or your face broken in the next 48 hours, call me.

The truth about the world, he said, is that anything is possible. Had you not seen it all from birth and thereby bled it of its strangeness it would appear to you for what it is, a hat trick in a medicine show, a fevered dream, a trance bepopulate with chimeras having neither analogue nor precedent, an itinerant carnival, a migratory tentshow whose ultimate destination after many a pitch in many a mudded field is unspeakable and calamitous beyond reckoning.

Love at first sound

Pure gorgeousness. You were no slouch either.

Do you even have money if you’re not a little gay.

”Blogging at the bar again. Got a whole bag of blow in my boy scout pants again. A few nickels to my name again. Everyone i’m with is beautiful and bored and banned from every bar on the block again.”

Your growing collection of free zines from Williamsburg isn’t going to help you find yourself but 3 menthol cigarettes and roof access might

Not having a style is also a style. so you might as well have style

Elegance is refusal

A little too dark, loud and ’cool’ for its own good.

Good morning, you durable creature

I love coffee because humans want to drink it and I want to be like them
the club isnt the best place to find a lover so the barb is where i go (ellis twitter)

The microwave my roommate took is like a phantom limb

Catfish, Man of the Woods

Hop in my love

At night, everyone’s gay

Dictators look good until their last five minutes.

They’re doomed, they’re bourgeois, they’re in love.

You’ve never seen a living thing afraid until you’ve seen a horse in a storm.

I violated the Biological Imperative

strangely beautiful and very recursive

i love u when u are solitary
i would do everything alone and perfectly for u

Plus your kick can fit in the back when the seat falls down
Because it ain’t rock music if you’re not hauling shit around

It’s all so little, and it makes me greet every new day like an old buddy with whom I have a huge desire to jump out for a beer.

”I’m Something Cool To Do”

we are the Sysadmins Gone Wild

~bartender, an espresso, if you will - and kill the lights